VCF Parenting Conference

Last Saturday (November 12, 2011), Richard and I attended VCF Fort's first Parenting Conference.  We bought tickets right when it was announced weeks ago because we knew we would learn a lot.  And so we did, along with this roomful of people.  Rich and I got seats at the back (delayed by Jollibee drive-thru) but I'm not complaining.  I was encouraged to see so many parents like us want to learn biblical parenting principles and do the best for our kids.


The theme for this conference is from Deuteronomy 6.

5 Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

The plenary speakers were Pastor Steve Murrell, his wife Deborah and son William.  They shared their experiences about parenting and being parented.  Sometimes I forget that even pastors who have discipled so many people and founded large churches still deal with the same parenting issues like the rest of us.  My key takeaways from the plenary: (1) Set an example, keep your lifestyle consistent with how you want to raise your kids. (2) Treat kids differently as they age, specifically allowing them to make decisions.  (3) Be constantly present in the lives of your kids even if they seem to push you away. (4) Talk, have conversations. (5) Have regular and intentional family devotions. (6) Pray for kids.

After the plenary, we went to the breakout sessions, which were determined by kids' ages, so 0-6 for us.  Pastor Carlos Antonio and his wife Belle facilitated the session and I truly appreciate them and everything they shared with us.

The goal for kids aged 0-6 are to establish influence and to train them to obey.  For influence, this is influencing their hearts toward God and instructing them with God's truth.  The key question was: who is the child's biggest influence (parents? yaya? tv?).  We also teach kids to obey because it is right, it is a command and it has a promise.  Obeying keeps the kids within the circle of blessing.  Disobedience removes them from the circle but discipline and correction brings them back in.  This applies to grown-ups as well, if we disobey God's commands.

Discipline was really the primary concern of the parents in our room.  There were a lot of related questions because we all want to learn to do it right.  It made me realize a few things (shortcomings) but the more important thing to remember is that there is always hope.

Parenting is a privilege but it is also difficult and a huge responsibility.  It's an overwhelming idea that another person's life depends so much on how we parent.  But God also enables us, gives us the ability to parent well.  He has provided guideposts and will provide the wisdom and grace needed to fulfill this role.

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