Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother

I read an article about this book some months ago and I was immediately intrigued.  At that time, there seemed to be a lot of strong reactions/outrage about the strict parenting methods of the author, Amy Chua.  Many people thought it was extreme, even bordering on abuse.

I think different strings are pulled when you are reading this book as an American/Westerner vs. Chinese/Asian.  Even before I read it, I agree that parents need to instill discipline in children while they are young.  It's a necessary skill that helps them to be successful later on.  The ways and means of achieving this can differ from parent to parent.  As they say, there are as many parenting styles as there are parents!

I bought the book last Sunday, finished it Monday.  That's how engrossing this was to me and I would bet most parents would find this to be compelling as well.  It was interesting to read about a very different kind of parenting than I have been exposed to.  To Amy Chua, setting her children Sophia and Lulu up for success includes very high  expectations (academics or otherwise), hard work and focus.  Most of the book is around training her children on the piano (Sophia) and violin (Lulu).  These entailed grueling daily practice sessions even when they were tired, unmotivated, already hating her.  No breaks even on vacations.  She was demanding and unrelenting.  Granted, she also invested a lot of time, money and energy on her children and her dedication is unsurpassed.

It was a tad distressing to read some of the sections just because it seemed that the author made things extremely difficult for herself and her family.  They sacrificed a lot but also because of the sacrifices, the children had outstanding successes in many arenas.  Hard work does pay off.

The other facet of this book is that the author's parenting style worked better for Sophia, but Lulu, the younger one rebelled and was openly defying her rules.  This was a point of struggle for the author.  Eventually, they worked out a "truce" where she changed some of her ways to suit the younger child as well.  This is another lesson in parenting.  Children need to be dealt with individually and as a parent, you cannot expect the method to yield the same results.  Adaptation is key.

Sophia and Lulu may have had a very strict upbringing but they turned out to be achievers, seem well-adjusted and still loving their tiger mother.  In the end, it worked for their family.

I am glad that Amy Chua decided to write this book even at the expense of exposing herself and family to judgment and hate.  I do not necessarily subscribe to her brand of tiger parenting but this book was insightful and made me think about my own experiences as a child and as a parent.  And even just for that, I highly recommend it.

P.S. Amy Chua's parents were from the Philippines.  They migrated to the US on education scholarships.
P.P.S. Sophia Chua-Rubenfeld has a blog.